


Spaces

by Grey (grey853)



Category: The Sentinel
Genre: Angst, Drama, Episode Related: Crossroads, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-10
Updated: 2013-05-10
Packaged: 2017-12-11 04:26:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,778
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/793951
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/grey853/pseuds/Grey
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jim and Blair come to an understanding after "Crossroads".<br/>This story is a sequel to no.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Spaces

## Spaces

by Grey

Author's webpage: <http://grey.ravenshadow.net/>

* * *

Disclaimer: I don't own them and never will. Don't rub it in my face, okay? 

WARNING: Bunches and bunches of spoilers: "Deep Water", "Brother's Keeper", "Remembrance", "Love Kills", "Crossroads", and "Finkleman's Folly". 

* * *

Captain Simon Banks pulled his car over for the third time in an hour. Concerned, he watched as his companion jerked open the door and dashed for the grass in record speed. Shaking his head, he reached back for the damp cloth and another bottle of water. As soon as Blair stumbled back and climbed into the seat beside him, he handed them over. "You okay?" 

"Sure, I'm fine. I'm just a little queasy that's all. I'll be okay in just a minute." 

"You don't look okay. You look more like that hairy-legged fishing lure I never got to use." Simon noticed the involuntary flinch at the mention of the ill-fated vacation. Reaching over he lightly touched the forehead, taking in the cool, clammy skin. 

Blair brushed the hand away quickly. "Come on, man. I'm okay, really. I just need to get home and rest some." 

"Sure. Listen, maybe we should stop by an ER in Cascade just to have you checked out first though. Nobody else was throwing up like this when we left." 

Wiping his mouth and then taking another cleansing drink, he shook his head. "No way, Simon. I just didn't take that other medicine they were dosing everybody with. I guess, maybe it'll just take a little longer for my body to calm down. Besides, you know how I feel about doctors." 

"I know, I just want to make sure there's not something else." 

Motioning for his friend to start the engine, Blair smiled and lifted the water bottle like a toast. "Just give me plenty of the plain stuff and I'll be back on my feet in no time." Shaking the bottle for emphasis, he managed a weak, but seriously Sandburg-flavored smile. "See. No ice." 

Simon turned the key and checked the highway before pulling back on the road. Still not convinced, he persisted. "If you're not better by the time we reach the city, you're going to the hospital." 

Blair shook his head and then closed his eyes. Slumping against the seat, he snuggled down as far as he could to be warmer, his head leaning on the window. "Sure, whatever, Simon. If it'll make you lighten up, we can go, but it'll be a waste of time." 

"Well, it's my time to waste." Noting the shivering, Simon reached over and turned up the heater. "It'll be warmer in a minute. I've got another jacket in the back if you want it." 

His voice muffled by his own collar, Blair muttered, "No, I'm cool, man. Just want to be home." 

"Yeah, me, too." After a few more minutes of listening to the regular sound of tires speeding across concrete, a slight groan brought his attention back to the young man beside him. "Blair?" 

"Sorry, man. I swear, my stomach hasn't been this messed up since that celebration with Stogie when I smoked all those nasty cigars you kept poking at me." 

"If memory serves, you drank a little that night, too." 

"True. It was fun though, all the guys just doing all those tribal bonding rituals and shit." 

Chuckling deep in his chest, Simon appreciated Blair's attempt to make him forget how puny he felt sitting there. "More like a rite of passage, my friend." 

Slowly Blair sat up and glanced over. "Thanks, man." 

Puzzled by the sudden, serious tone, Simon asked, "Thanks for what?" 

"Oh, just for making me feel like I'm not just some outsider anymore, for making me feel, I don't know, like part of the team." 

Simon took a deep, calming breath before he answered. "Blair, listen to me. You've been part of the team almost from the beginning." 

"No, I haven't. Plus, you and I both know there are some people who still want me gone. I mean, who knows when another Finkleman fiasco might come along, man. I just wanted to say how much I appreciate what you've done to make this whole sentinel thing with Jim work. It hasn't been easy on you either." 

"No, it hasn't, but it's been worth it. Look, I know that your ride along status has been questioned, but I've taken care of that for now. Don't worry about it. What bothers me is where all this is coming from. What's going on in that twisted brain of yours, Sandburg?" 

Blair sagged back into the seat, his arms tightly crossed around his mid-section. "Nothing, man. I'm just trying to say thanks, that's all. Why are you cops always so damn suspicious?" 

"Because we recognize obfuscation when we see it? Come on, Blair. You're upset. I'm sorry about this whole thing. I mean, if I hadn't insisted we follow his ass up here, this could've been avoided." 

"No, that's not true. Jim would've been up there by himself. No telling what might have happened. Hell, he's so damn pig-headed, he would've probably tried to do something alone and gotten himself killed." 

"And that's why you're upset?" 

"Yeah, partly." 

"What's the other part?" Simon watched rain darken the road as he listened to the quiet voice. 

"I just don't understand how I missed the signals." 

"What signals?" 

"Jim's been showing signs of burn out for awhile now. All that emotional baggage with his dad and Lila took it out of him. He's been needing a break and I've been doing just like he said." 

"Jim, said a lot of things. Which thing are you talking about?" 

"I've been in his face, always there, observing." 

Simon cringed a little at the memory. "Yeah, well, I'm sorry about the lab rat comment." 

A slight snort punctuated his speech. "It's no worse than the pitbull thing from Jim." 

"I know. I always thought he liked taking on the badasses that came to town." 

"He does, Simon. I think it's just like he said. He needed a break." 

"Maybe." The larger man slowed the speed of the car, the rain slicking the controlling touch of the steering. 

"What? You think it's something more?" 

"Not necessarily. It's just so much like something the old Jim might do." 

"Old Jim?" Turning in his seat, pulling his coat tighter, Blair focused on the captain. 

"Blair, you've got no idea how much Jim's changed since you showed up." 

"Well, when I first met him, he was seriously hostile and suspicious, but other than that a pleasant fellow." 

Simon laughed. "Yeah, right. Jim Ellison's been called a lot of things, but pleasant fellow isn't one of them, at least not before you. Except for when he worked with Jack, he was pretty much an unapproachable asshole. He'd do his job, but he didn't want any connections." 

"What about his marriage to Carolyn? He must have made some connections for that to happen, right?" 

Simon glanced over to study Blair's still pale features and cleared his throat before he spoke. "Well, that always surprised me." 

"Why? I mean, I know they ended up getting a divorce, but weren't they happy at least some of the time?" 

"Has Jim talked to you much about his time with Carolyn?" 

Blair let his head rest on the back of the seat. Despite his interest in the topic, drowsiness swelled in his muscles, made his brain mushy and unclear. 

"No, actually, Jim doesn't talk much about his past. He did say she complained about him not being able to communicate worth dick. Imagine that." 

Coughing at the unexpected phrasing, Simon saw the eyelids drooping. "Maybe we should talk about this later, Blair. You're falling out on me here. Why don't you get some sleep? We'll be back to the mayhem of the city soon enough." 

"No, man. I want to know. I NEED to know. I'm just resting my eyes a little, but I'm listening. Honest." 

"Okay, but I'm going to sound foolish if I have to talk between snores." 

"I don't snore, man. Now, spill it. What was the deal with Carolyn?" 

"If you tell him I said so, I'll deny it, but I always thought that was a strange match. I mean, don't get me wrong, I liked Carolyn well enough, and she was a damn fine worker." 

"But?" 

"But she was a woman who wanted Jim to be as dedicated to her as he was to his job and that was just never going to happen, not then and not with Carolyn." 

His thick tongue made it hard to talk. "So, you're saying Jim was a workaholic long before I came along, huh?" 

"Yeah, but Carolyn never understood that. I'm not saying he didn't love her, but I don't think he knew how to show it, at least not in a way that she'd recognize. Jim's not good on the emotional front, but he's the best at being a cop because he almost never stops working. He was a major crimes pitbull even then. Now, with you there, it's been unbelievable. With his senses focused, well, let me say in all my years as a cop, I've never seen anyone like him." 

"Me, either." The words floated softly into the car, Blair's head dropping lower on the back of the seat. 

Smiling at his young friend's valiant struggle to fight a losing battle against sleep, Simon teased, "Yeah, Jim Ellison and Blair Sandburg are quite the team all right." 

"Joined at the hip." 

"Don Quixote and Sancho Panza." 

"Batman and Robin." Blair's voice tripped, but continued. "He's my buddy, my pal, my life. He's my whole world, man, my whole fucking world." With a deep sigh, he lay still, his breathing regular and even. 

Simon sat up straight at the striking honesty behind the last few words. Spoken before his young friend drifted into needed sleep, they revealed more than he ever expected to hear. He fought off the urge to reach over and smooth back the loose, unruly curls that fell across his face. Shaking his head, he turned his attention back to the road leading home. 

To be such a damn bright detective, he wondered why it'd taken him so long to figure out what was really going on with his two friends. Gripping the steering wheel even more tightly, he prayed that Jim came back and straightened things out before too long. He didn't want the insensitive son of a bitch to lose out on the best thing that ever happened to him. 

* * *

"Hey, Simon, have you seen Sandburg around?" Jim poked his head into his captain's office, annoyance flushing his features. 

"He was sitting at your desk typing reports a few minutes ago." Glancing out, seeing an empty chair, Simon shrugged. "Guess, he's not there now, huh?" 

"If he were there, I wouldn't be asking." His words grated the air, rough and edgy. "So, where do you think he went this time?" 

"Jim, get in here and shut the door." The captain motioned toward a chair. "Sit down." 

"Sir, I...." 

"Jim, shut up for a minute and tell me what's going on with you and Sandburg. You've been back from your little vacation for over a week now and you're still acting like you need one. What's happening?" 

"Your guess is as good as mine, Simon. It's like he's avoiding me or something. It's starting to piss me off if you want to know the truth." 

"I live for the truth, Jim. Now, why don't you settle down for a minute and explain what you're talking about. Is he avoiding you at home or just here at the station?" 

Jim stood to pace the small office, his large body tight with tense containment. "So, it's not just my imagination? He's really avoiding me here?" 

"Well, I have to admit that I've noticed he gives you a wider berth than usual." 

"That's just what I'm talking about, Simon. He's usually right there and now it's like he's shifted too far away or not there at all. In the morning he's off to school before I'm even up and after work he's off boffing some co-ed or some shit every night." 

Ignoring the remark about his partner's love life, Simon suggested, "Maybe he just doesn't want to be in your face." 

"Come on, Simon. Don't throw that at me. I tried to explain why I had to get away." Jim put his hands on his hips, defensive and angry. 

"To me, yeah. I get it, Jim. You needed time alone and I understand that, I really do. You forget. I knew you before, but Blair didn't. He doesn't know that side of you yet." 

"You think I hurt his feelings." A statement rather than a question barked into the room. 

"Hell, yeah. You could've at least told him what was going on before you took off like that." 

The truth of the statement barbed his heart. "I know that. Don't you think I realize that now?" 

"Well, that's at least something anyway." 

Jim moved closer, his voice lower. "Simon, why did you have to follow me like that? He would've been just fine if you hadn't dragged him up there tracking me down like some escapee. He could've been killed. What were you thinking anyway?" 

"Jim, back up here." Allowing a more comfortable space between them, the captain continued. "Look, first of all, I had no idea you were really that burnt. I mean, apparently Blair's not the only one you don't tell things to." 

Stepping to the window, his hand rubbing his forehead, the persistent throb tested his skull's final strength. "I'm sorry, Simon. I just didn't think it would be such a big deal to ask for a few days off." 

"It wouldn't have been, if you'd been honest from the start and not ambushed us like that." 

"I didn't mean to do that." 

"I know. But, Blair's on guard because of it. He's afraid that you're going to push him away now that you don't seem to need him as much." 

Whirling around, Jim stared in disbelief at his friend. "What? Don't need him as much? Where the hell would he get that stupid idea?" 

Crossing his own arms as though talking to a slow child, Simon frowned. "Well, gee, Jim, I don't know. Maybe we could make a list." 

"Simon, you're joking. I mean, you think he really thinks I don't need him?" 

"Yeah, I do. When was the last time you actually said that you needed him around? Sure you said you appreciated how he made the sentinel thing work, but you never went on to tell him that you had to have him around to keep it going. No, instead you pretty much showed him that you'd rather be on your own." 

"But I explained that." 

"I know. And deep down, the Kid understands it, too. It's just he's not sure how much space you need. Hell, I'm not sure you even know." 

"Shit. He thinks I don't need him." Jim put both of his palms to his temples to keep the pounding in his head from exploding his brain. 

"You could say that." Simon noted the pain scrunching his friend's features. "You okay?" 

"No. My head hurts and I've been really stupid." 

"Sorry. Can't help the stupid part, but I'll get you some aspirin." Reaching into his desk, he pulled out a bottle and handed it to Jim. He reached over, poured some water. "Here." 

After taking the pills, Jim turned around. "What do you think I need to do, Simon?" 

"You're a clever guy, Jim. Why don't you try talking to him? Why can't you just tell him how you feel? Is it really that hard?" 

Sad, blue eyes locked onto dark brown. "You have no idea." 

"Oh, I wouldn't be so sure of that. I'm not blind, Jim. A little slow sometimes, but that's just because I wasn't looking for it." 

Suddenly nervous, Jim glanced back out the window. "Looking for what?" 

"Jim, what you and Blair have is special. That I already knew. Whatever else you feel, you need to tell him. I think you might be a little surprised by his reaction." 

Hesitating only a moment, he asked, "Why? Did he say something?" 

"Not directly. Jim, we both know that you were lousy at commitment in the past. Maybe that fear of failure is what's holding you back. I don't know. What I do know is that you two are good together." 

"Simon, I'm not sure what I feel. I just know that I need him around and I now I've screwed up." 

The captain sat down on the edge of the desk before he spoke. "Not so bad that it can't be fixed. Listen to me. Whatever's between you, you need to sit down and figure it out, not dance around it like it's not there, not run off and pretend like the love between you doesn't exist." 

"Love?" 

"Yeah, love." 

Shifting uneasily, Jim rubbed his hands together. "I love both you guys. I told you that. You're like family. Hell, better than family." 

"I know that. I also know that the friendship between us isn't the same as the love between you and Blair. You two need each other. Why can't you tell him that without feeling like you have to run away?" 

"What exactly are you suggesting, Simon? Are you saying you think I'm in love with my partner?" 

"Are you?" Simon waited patiently while the twitching of his friend's jaw settled down. 

"I do love him. I can't deny that. Whatever else there might be, I don't know. I've never felt like this before." 

"And you're scared." 

"Not scared. Confused." Jim looked up, his face muscles drawn tight against the movement of bones. "Simon, this isn't really something I can talk about, not yet. I hope you understand." 

"I do, but I'm not the one you have to talk to." 

"I know." 

"Then do it, Jim, before it's too late." 

* * *

The unexpected click of a key in the door alerted Blair to his partner's arrival. "Hey, Jim. You're early. I was just on my way out." 

"Got another date?" 

Worried by the hostile tone, Blair picked up his back pack, ready to head out quick. "No, actually. There's a study session later tonight and I told some of my students I might show up." 

Dropping his keys on the table, Jim took off his leather jacket and walked over to the refrigerator, looking for the world incredibly calm. Inside, he trembled, wary and unsure. He'd been planning what he'd say all afternoon, but now that his friend stood before him, prepared words failed him. 

"So, what were you planning to do until then? Hide out?" 

"What are you talking about, Jim? Hide out from what?" 

"Who." 

"Jim, make sense, man." 

"You've been hiding out from me all week. I want to know why that is." 

Busted, but still trying to avoid admitting it, Blair spoke with practiced innocence. "I don't know what you're talking about." 

"Oh, I think you do, Chief." Jim took a swig of beer and hoped his nervous stomach wouldn't betray him. "Why don't you tell me why you keep leaving like you're afraid to be alone with me?" 

"That's not really true." 

"Isn't it?" Taking another drink, Jim listened in on the increasing body sounds, faster heart beat, rapid breathing, blood pressure rising. The flush on his guide's cheeks brought a pleasant tingle to his own body. 

Blair dropped the bag by the side of the sofa and sagged down, his elbows on his knees. His voice played at anger, but lost to confused. "What do you want from me, Jim? First you want me to get out of your face, to give you space, and now you say I'm avoiding you. What's the deal here?" 

Setting the bottle down in the sink, Jim stepped to the couch. Standing there, a faint whiff of his guide's unique musk touched his extended senses. Arousal paged heat to the weight between his thighs, the moisture collecting in itchy trails already. Blue denim tightened to the border of pain. 

"The deal is that I'm sorry." 

Dark blue eyes, bright in the dim light of the loft, glanced up. "What?" 

Sitting down beside the younger man, Jim let his thigh brush against his friend's. The slight hitch of Blair's breath brought ache to his groin. "I handled the vacation business all wrong, Chief. I should've told you that I just needed a break. It wasn't you. It was me." 

"I know that, Jim. You explained it all before. I know I'm a pest sometimes, in your face and observing. Though that Felix Unger remark was a little out of line. If anyone's anal like Felix, that would be you." 

"I'm sorry, Chief. You just threw me with that moving out business." 

"I just wanted to know if that's what you wanted or not." 

"You know it's not." 

"Do I, Jim? How would I know that? I don't want to crowd you." 

"You don't, Blair. This is your home. Our home." 

"I just wanted to back off some and let you have what you need." Blair's shifting pushed his leg closer, the heat searing sentinel skin even through cloth. 

Tentatively taking his partner's hand, Jim held it in his palm, running his other hand across the top, the fingers mapping the intricate landscape. The vision of veins and tendons focused his best friend's pulse and reached into his soul, touched him with a passion barely contained. 

The hand stayed put, didn't pull away. "Jim?" 

"What I need is you, Chief. I need you to know that." 

Blair put his free hand on his friend's shoulder. "Jim? Come on, man. Don't zone on me here. What's going on?" 

"I don't want you to think I don't need you. I do. I need you more than I ever wanted to admit." 

"Is that why you left?" 

"I left to clear my head. I was honest about that. I don't want to screw anything up." 

Tilting his head to study the man holding his hand, Blair whispered, "Jim, nothing's screwed up if we don't want it to be. I'm cool." 

Raising his eyes to focus on Blair's, Jim lifted his partner's hand to his lips. Still watching blue eyes follow his, he lightly kissed each finger. By the third kiss, the young man fell back against the couch, his eyes squeezed shut as he drank in the overwhelming sensation of a sentinel's loving touch. Turning the hand palm up, Jim licked the life line around to the wrist. Pushing up the sleeve, he trailed nibbles up the inner arm to the elbow, hesitating there before sucking at the thin skin, the wild beat vibrating hard against his mouth. 

"Oh, god." The voice dangled on the edge of lost. 

"Blair, I've been meaning to tell you something." 

"What?" Breathy, the word only half whispered. 

Jim leaned closer, rubbed his bearded cheek lightly against his guide's, the scraping sensation blazing urgency to his lower half. "Can't you guess?" 

Lying there, Jim rubbing between his legs with one hand, sucking at the hollow of his throat with an eager mouth, left almost no air in his lungs. He struggled to stop swirling in a steamy fog long enough to speak. "Jim. Please." 

"Please what?" The larger man stroked the front of Blair's zipper harder, as he undid the buttons on the front of his shirt. Pushing it aside, he dived for the silver nipple ring, snagged it and tugged. Slicking the furry chest all around, he rubbed his nose against the sweat rich with Blair scent, so thick with a heavy spice mixed with sharp musk. Filling his lungs with his prize brought a throbbing ache between his legs, a claim to his attention. 

"Jim. God, man. I'm dying here." 

"Not on my watch, Chief. Let's slow down a minute here." 

As he started to pull away, Blair reached out quickly and snatched back his hand, putting it back to his crotch. "No, you don't, Jim. Don't you dare back away now. Don't even think about it." 

Smiling at his guide's desperate insistence, Jim shook his head. "I'm not backing away, Chief. I just want to be sure you're okay with this. I have to tell you something before this thing goes any further." He gulped the words, trying to control his runaway desire. 

Humping against his Jim's thigh and rubbing his face against the hand gently stroking his face, Blair grinned. "Jim, I love you man. Believe me, I'm more than okay with the idea of having you touch me." 

"I love you, too, Blair, but I want to do more than touch you." 

Teasing, leaning in with more pressure, Blair husky voice whispered, "More, huh?" 

Running his fingers through a tangle of dark brown curls, Jim stared into the dilated dark eyes focused on him. "Much more." 

"And you won't be annoyed if I get in your face?" 

Chuckling down to his heart, Jim smiled and stroked harder between Blair's legs. "Now, how did you know that's what I had in mind?" 

"It's a guide thing." 

Reaching down, Jim unzipped his pants as Blair lifted his hips to rid himself of the miserable cloth prison. Cock freed, it sprang up and out from a nest of dark curls, layering the air with an almost briny mist, salt and musk, sex and Blair. 

Jim leaned over, his lips first kissing silky heat of his young guide's lips, a rebellious tongue fighting back. Swallowing groans and pleas, he controlled the impatient thrusting of hips while he shifted over to a full body press. Slowly he pulled back and then slid off the edge of the sofa to kneel between Blair's naked thighs. Ever so slowly he ran both his hands along the inside of each leg, the slightest trembling massaged hungry fingertips. 

Gently, he licked up each leg and then with a feather's touch he lightly teased the twitching cock. Crimped hair tickled his nose, blasted it with scent, wood smoke on wind. He let his tongue tip taste the pearly liquid thick and dripping. Holding the balls with one hand and the base with the other, he took the crown between starved lips. Thighs tightened as Blair jerked up, his cries strangled and coupled with moans. 

Pushing between his tongue and palate, he slid up and down the shaft, licking and sucking. He wanted to take it all in, but couldn't. Pulling back, he slicked along the underside while rolling the swollen balls between careful fingers. A sudden tightening, thighs paralyzed around him, signaled a close release. Quickly he engulfed the cock just before it exploded, jets of heat and thick tang washing a spasm of dark lime down his throat. It tasted like Blair, bitter honey, exotic and unique, belonging only to him. Swallowing deep, greedy for more, his tongue licked all around, every hair slicked, every drop as savored as new life. 

Intoxicated beyond reason, he reached down to unzip jeans and touch his own aching cock. Stomach heavy, every muscle tight to breaking, he found release with only a few tight strokes. Flashing lights and a twister's roar blasted and imploded his skull to bring him forward, his head pressed in on Blair's stomach, rubbing like mad to not shatter into the vastness of space. Breathing stopped until his racing heart could catch up. 

After a few minutes, resting there, intimate contact maintained, Jim found air again. A tender hand petted his head, as he still lay with Blair's belly as his special pillow. Smiling at the image, he looked up to see sex-sated blue eyes observing him, watching closely, all but taking notes. 

"Hey, Chief. What'd I say. Always in my face." 

"You know what, Jim?" The firm hand still stroked a goofy sentinel head. 

"What?" He closed his eyes, drinking in the warm heat of his lover's magical touch. 

"I think it's where I belong. What do you think?" 

"I think you may be right, Chief." 

Shifting just a little, running a playful finger across an exhausted cheek, he teased, "Well, if you're not sure, maybe we should try that again." 

"Oh, man." 

"All man. All yours." 

Grasping his lover's hand, Jim brought it once again to thirsty lips, kissing the one true blessing in his life. He finally understood that all the space he ever needed rested in the powerful, trusting palm of his best friend and guide, his love and his pleasure. 

The End 


End file.
